Funny "Work" Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

"Employment and Jobs" Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

Here's what we got so far (add yours as a comment) :

John...

1. understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
2. thought he wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay-cheque
3. is just working here until a good fast food job opens up....
4. sees Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done
5. pretends to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. thinks ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
7. thinks work is for people who don't know how to fish!
8. just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
9. is thinking that this isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
10. 's co-workers think he's a hard worker because they hear all this typing on Facebook!

Famous Quotes about Work

• We have a lot of kids who don't know what works means. They think work is a four-letter word.
• Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
• President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.'
• Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to Fifteen go to work. Or, as it's called at the Nike factory - Thursday.
• Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
• The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
• It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
• I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.
• A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
• I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.