Laziness Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

"Excuses and Laziness" Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

Here's what we got so far (add yours as a comment) :

John...

1. really wishes she could but, I have to floss my cat.
2. really wishes she could but, I want to spend more time with my blender.
3. really wishes she could but, I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
4. really wishes she could but, I swallowed my gold crown this morning, and I have to wait here until it comes out the other end.
5. really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
6. really wishes she could but, I have to stay home and wash my tongue.
7. really wishes she could but, I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
8. really wishes she could but, I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
9. really wishes she could but, My patent is pending.
10. really wishes she could but, I'm worried about my vertical hold.
11. really wishes she could but, I have to fulfill my potential.
12. really wishes she could but, I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
13. really wishes she could but, I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
14. really wishes she could but, I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
15. really wishes she could but, I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
16. really wishes she could but, I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
17. really wishes she could but, I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
18. really wishes she could but, My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
19. really wishes she could but, I just picked up a book called Glue in Many Lands and I can't put it down.
20. really wishes she could but, I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
21. really wishes she could but, I have to rotate my crops.