Funny and Witty Status Updates about Women

Clever and Classic Status Updates Relating to Women for you to use on Facebook or Twitter

(note: most of these updates are quotes from famous people)

• In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
• Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
• For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.
• All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.
• Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
• Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
• A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.
• You don't know a women till you've met her in court.
• The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men more.
• My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.
• Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
• Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
• Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
• I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.
• There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.
• I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
• Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
• One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
• I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.