New Years Resolutions Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

Funny, Cool and Witty "New Years Resolutions" Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter.

Here's what we got so far (add yours as a comment) :

John's New Years Resolution:

1. stop using the following phrase at work, "Deal..." (dramatic pause) "Or No Deal..."
2. work with neglected children. (my own).
3. stop replying to funny jokes he hears by saying, "L.O.L... L.O.L"
4. do less laundry and use more deodorant.
5. stop using Facebook as the primary communication method with his wife & kids.
6. read less.
7. stop tagging pictures of himself in pictures even when he's not in them.
8. combine his love of bass fishing and exercise into new sport: Bassercize
9. only pay for sex if the price seems really, really reasonable
10. start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
11. eat more paint.