Funny Status Updates about Children for Facebook and Twitter

Facebook Status Updates about Children, Kids and Teens which you can use!

Clint...

• In automobile terms, the child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
• There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age.
• I love kids. I was a kid myself, once.
• I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant
• Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
• When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.
• Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
• When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job.
• Your sons weren't made to like you. That's what grandchildren are for.
• Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
• Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
• The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires. Each generation has been an education for us in different ways. The first child-with-bloody-nose was rushed to the emergency room. The fifth child-with-bloody-nose was told to go to the yard immediately and stop bleeding on the carpet.
• When you are 12, you no longer need the parents.
• A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
• Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
• Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
• Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"
• Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

Funny, Clever, Witty Children Facebook Status Updates

Note: these are famous Quotes