Funny Chuck Norris Status Updates

Funny Chuck Norris Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

Hey, if you think Chuck Norris is outdated, you could swap his name with a good friend's name:)

• If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
• A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
• Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Wilt Chamberlin claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
• Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.
• Chuck Norris does not use spell check. His spelling checks itself.
• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
• President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day.

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