Angry Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

Angry and Upset Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

Here's what we got so far (add yours as a comment) :

John is...

1. hated it when old aunts used to come up to her at weddings, poke her in the ribs and cackle, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
2. Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see them tumble down the stairs.
3. says "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar!"
4. thinks its OK to beat up an old lady, if its at Costco, or if she really had it coming.
5. may kill you in the morning.
6. reminds you that when we resort to violence, nobody wins. Wait, that's wrong. I win...always!!! Got that! ALWAYS!!!!
7. thinks it's impossible to look at a baby penguin and not get angry!
8. Shut-up!